I got this in the mail this morning and it made me smile. I still hate that I can’t write, but I feel a bit better knowing that I at least inspire good writing. I love you.
I just said the loneliest “I love you” I’ve said in a long time. First time was when I was in this bad, one-sided relationship which I suspect the girl was keeping alive simply because she didn’t have a reason to dump me without looking like a total bitch. This time, though, it’s with someone who loves me back; probably more than I can imagine.
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“I miss your smell. When you left I couldn’t wash the sheets because I didn’t want to lose that completely – you. And it fucked me up for a long time because I’d wake up and I’d smell you and I’d think you were there, and my heart would break all over again.”
- Hank Moody, Californication, s01e05
I hit the pause button on my media player just so I could scribble down these lines. Sure, it may not be literature with a capital L, but this passage was simple and raw in a way that I found utterly beautiful. Every time I stumble upon writing that stops me dead in my tracks, I ask myself why I can’t come up with anything remotely as good. It’s not because I’m too busy – while my old day job ate a lot of my time and energy, I still managed to find ways to capture my working class angst in words. It’s not that my life has become any less exciting either; it’s still very eventful in ways the Internet can never know. As I was basking in the jouissance of this passage, the answer hit me out of nowhere.
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Dinner at Mr. Kabab, January 3, 2009
Whether it’s promise rings (a promise to get engaged) or monthsaries (a celebration of one month of being together), every couple does a Lame Couple Thing that other people probably roll their eyes at. Our Lame Couple Thing is the Meetsary – a celebration of the day we first met each other (which is different from the anniversary, the celebration of the day we became a couple). To me, it makes more sense to celebrate meetsaries rather than monthsaries, because it takes a very precise set of circumstances to bring two people together at the same place and at the same point of their lives where they more or less make a perfect fit. I bring this up because it’s been exactly a year since I first made googly eyes at Marco in Cantina, and I haven’t really stopped since. <3 We didn’t do anything major for our first meetsary – just dinner at Mr. Kabab with Anne and Helga, which oddly enough is exactly how I started my evening exactly 365 days ago.
The story of how I met my boyfriend begins with me ditching dinner with the Hohobags for dinner at Mr Kabab with the same set of people plus Luis. I didn’t mean to be so flaky but I haven’t had a beef chelo kabab in months, plus Helga and I just made up after minor drama happened. We had drinks at Cafe 77 after dinner and I was ready to call it a night as soon as I downed my second beer. For some reason, Kimi and Rica was unusually insistent about meeting them at Cantina for drinks. I declined their invitation at first but when they texted me again I figured, “Why the hell not?” This decision to go for more alcohol with the Hohobags turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I’m sure I would have eventually met Marco at some point, but there’s no telling if we would have found each other as attractive or as interesting in the weeks or months after January 3, 2009.
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